How to Succeed in Procrastinating

A Day in the Life of a Procrastinator



• Wake up, sigh deeply at thought of urgent project that needs completion

• Make coffee, grind the ‘special’ beans-hard work deserves it

• Stare out window while coffee brews: nature is inspiring

• Sit down with cup and laptop, boot up

• Check email first, obviously

• Check Facebook

• Check twitter

• Decide to make a to-do list, but a paper one is so last decade: go online to look for a desktop calendar/to-do list. Attempt to download and install.

• Realize computer already had Windows Outlook

• Quick email check

• Decide it would be helpful to clean work space, spend an hour sorting paperwork

• Decide desktop theme is boring, thus uninspiring, spend 30 min at LOL Cats looking for a new background picture

• Inspired, go to Twitter and select new theme and background

• Open word, ready for business.

• Coffee is ice-cold, pour new cup. Pee. Realize bathroom could use a quick cleaning. Spend 15 minutes polishing it up. Contemplate ugly light fixture.

• Return to computer, go to look for light fixtures at Anthropologie.

• Recheck email.

• Realize all this creativity should go to blog as well-go to blog and play with color scheme

• Read and respond to blog comments

• Clean actual laptop for clarity.

Ian Britton photo

• Open Word again, try and start project.

• Realize that Arial is boring. Try Calibri instead. Edgy.

• Pour more coffee.

• Get out paperwork for project. Lay it out in good order. Realize that a outline would be helpful.

• Return to Word to write outline.

• Check FB, Twitter, AND email.

• Decide to check obits in local online paper. It could be someone you know.

• Move on to LATimes.com. Read California section. Grumble about book section.

• Back to project. Realize key text is missing. Spend 20 minutes searching house for it, only to find it outside on child’s playhouse.

• Sun feels good, decide to review text and watch adorable child play outdoors. Children are inspiring.

• Look at child’s worn clothing, head over to computer inside and go to Gymboree.com and shop for new duds.

• Sigh at expense. Go to credit card online and check balance.

• Sigh deeply at current balance.

• Decide to put up credit card. Find purse. Clean out. Decide purse is boring. Go online to Bluefly and look for another. One suitable for toting files, books, work implements. Decide to go to Levenger.

• Drool over Levenger site. Imagine what items would make writing more successful. Compile shopping cart of items you can’t afford.

• Go back to email, FB, twitter. Realize you haven’t contacted best friend. Write chatty email about all the work you have to do.

• Overcome with hunger, eat peanut butter on a spoon out of jar. Too busy to sit.

• Start typing and realize as a reward you’ll watch cool movie in the evening.

• Go to Netflix and put something in the queue.

• Back to work. Realize word count is not specified. Attempt to contact editor.

• After emailing editor, find email from Magazines.com. Decide to look for suitable inspiring titles for writers. Find nothing.

• Decide to go to Amazon to look for books on writing. Order random titles.  Realize that you haven't updated Goodreads with recent ARCs.  Head over to add to library.  Spend 30 min reading updates, then head back to Amazon to look for titles.

• Look at clock and realize scheduled work period is over. Sigh with guilt.